Pressure, family, friends, events, commitments, planning, it's all too much!
Can you relate?
Why is it that everyone must plan everything? I used to be a HUGE PLANNER. Then life happened. Now I struggle with planning. Yes, I have Goals, however spontaneity would be wonderful every now and then.
Every time someone tells me they have an event I make sure to place it in my calendar. I really don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. Sometimes it sounds nice, then I go through each step in my head. They go like this; I have to figure out what to wear, is Ed going, who will be there, do I have something else to do that day, what if I have a flare, what if I say I can't go and they are mad at me..and the list goes on. That's before the event is even here.
Then the day of comes, who knows how I will feel. I have to worry once my eyes open. Will I let someone down?
Families making each other feel guilty for not showing up to events. Why? Why to we do this? Pure selfishness, that's why!
Because we want to see our family or they want to see us, so everyone takes a holiday, birthday, or special occasion, and makes it dreadful by placing pressure on EVERYONE to be there, on time. Some families even tell each other what to wear!
Why not just let everyone know you'd like to have an event, send out an invitation? We have snail mail, email, Twitter, Facebook event invites, and other apps to assist with this.
Another topic, GUILT...
Why must you make someone feel guilty if they could not, would not, or did not show up?
Maybe they were having a bad day and did not want to be around others, maybe something else came up, maybe life happened. Respect it. Instead of questioning them, why not just let them know you would love to plan some time with them when it's suitable for their schedule and yours.
Stress is horrible on the body and the mind. Guilt causes undo stress. Believe it or not people show up to events out of guilt because they don't want to hurt someones feelings. Guilt also pushes people away! Think about that. Who are you guilting? Are you being guilted?
We are in such an era where the "Boomers", yes I said it, believe that everything should be "like it used to be" and the "Millennials", have dates and plans with others or live life to their own beat per se. There has to be a compromise. I get it.
Communication, there is your compromise.
I personally refuse to have my children feel guilty if they can't show up for Thanksgiving. They have their own families. I refuse to be upset if my children do not celebrate specific holidays, I respect they may have other beliefs. I refuse to guilt my children into anything and cause them undo stress.
I refuse to guilt anyone into anything and cause them undo stress! How would you feel if someone did that to you?
In many instances I've witnessed someone not attend events because they did not feel well just to turn around and guilt someone else because they did not show for another event.
Q - quit
T - taking
I - it
P - personally
People who are spontaneous, yes there are plenty out there. Let's say they have a quick get together and you happen to call or drop by, your feelings are hurt because you were not invited. QTIP. It was spontaneous! Let them be. Do not guilt them. Do not stress yourself. It's okay. You will have your time with them. Maybe they were caught up in the moment. It was not a "planned-invite all event".
This world is so caught up in feelings that no one even realises how much stress they are feeling or causing themselves or one another.
Breath, it's ok! Be still! It's ok! Take a moment to gather yourself, it's okay!
Just be. Just let others be.
As always, thanks for stopping by and reading. Please comment, like, and share.