I sit in the parking deck once again.
Patiently waiting, feeling helpless as Ed goes into UVA Emily Couric Cancer Clinic to have labs drawn and to see the MPN.
As I sit here, I think of how proud I am of him. He is doing this, alone, not in spirit, but, going in alone. We are used to doing this together. More and more these appointments are dreadful because of COVID-19.
Each of us having to tackle our own fears. Mine are vocal, his hidden. I don’t know what’s said in the doctor’s office. I pray for good news and results.
I’ve been on this journey with Ed and Polycythemia Vera since February of 2019, thereabouts. As we approach another year, I’m thankful he has not given up.
I know there are days he wants to. I know the fatigue is overwhelming, the appointments are intrusive, the long rides are a struggle, in addition to his health, he works 12 hour shifts.
I thank God he has come to a point where he is positive about his treatment and trying to understand this illness more. It is very challenging.
He may never know what caused it. In his lifetime there may never be a cure. My hope is with patience, time, love, and understanding, he can get through this life knowing through his journey, he is helping the next generation that may be diagnosed. By Ed showing up for these appointments and being honest, sticking to a regimen directed by doctors, he can be a testimony and he can help others. He can also live a good life, most days.
We always have to look at the silver linings, if we don’t, we are doomed into darkness, depression, and lose hope.
I refuse to lose the light! I refuse to let Ed lose the life that I know is still left in him. Though it may be a different life than he once lived, it’s life!
My hero fights Polycythemia Vera, what does your hero fight for?
As I always say, I will continue to pray for good labs, a great doctors visit, Ed’s miracle, and wait patiently on God to handle the cure!
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 2 Corinthians 1:9-10