Sobriety is “HELLA SEXY”
(Press Play – Angus & Julia Stone – Nothing Else)
To look at Meg, one would see a bright, young, bubbly, excited, and beautiful woman. Hope and sparkle in her eyes. Absolutely stunning and gorgeous.
To get to know Meg, you get to know Jesus and God, with a fiery spirit.
Meg has a heart of gold. Although quite upfront and blunt, honest to the core, Meg is loving, fun, excited about life, a wonderful mother, and a partner, she is also a small business owner.
Meg is family, engaged to my cousin Jay. Meg also became an instant friend.
Before even meeting in person, Meg and I spent months talking on Facebook. I knew immediately that I loved her. There was tenacity and spark within her that I saw, I could not explain it, I just felt it. I looked at her and I saw life, true life. I saw so many things other than that also. I wanted to be like Meg. Fun, exciting, beautiful, hopeful!
As I talked to Meg, more and more, I found out that Meg, was in fact, a recovering alcoholic. One would not look at Meg at first glance and ever think that.
This goes to show how the world is so out of touch with the reality of addiction, recovery, illnesses, and suffering.
This is exactly why I wanted to present Meg’s Story.
Little did I know, this was ONLY part of Meg’s story, so there will very likely be a lot more to come on Meg.
The following story is only part of Meg’s story. It is a glimpse into a story of sobriety and recovery. A story of over 500 days of being alcohol-free! I am so proud of Meg.
Meg’s Journey to Recovery
A deeper look into the Real Meg
I grew up as an only child in the small township of Florence, New Jersey. I shared an early love of rescued kitties, Slim Jim’s, & Shirley Temples. And I lived for roller skating, sleepovers, lipstick & BOYS!
As I type this, I now know, that I also had/have a deep desire for affection from my mom & dad. I can’t say I ever recall them being that. Instead, the memories I do have are those of longing and searching, for approval, for love. I remember, in both households fighting, screaming, crying, things breaking, beatings. In my mother’s home, it was my stepfather’s daily fits of rage towards me/us. In my father’s home, it was my stepmother’s physical abuse towards me, her daughter, and the many children she babysat.
My stepmother and stepfather, bother entered my life at a young age. I was young. They were young. They were FUN. They were abusive.
What was your drink/ alcohol of choice?
Whiskey! But hell, I cannot really recall ever turning anything down. IPAs, moonshine, vodka, red wine…
When did you find yourself drinking the most?
Every time I drank! LOL, I drank LOTS.
But my darkest days were my final days… they began at the realization of my needing to escape my toxic marriage and continued spiral for the next two years.
Did you drink out of anxiety, socially, anger, to relax?
No way! Initially, I did not drink for any “reason.” I drank because it was fun, I am fun! I am an Abrams-that is what we do. I am Megan Abrams AKA Hot Mess Express. Loud, Social, Silly, Crazy. Alcohol and me, we were BFFs, alcohol was my identity.
Does alcoholism seem to be something that you can trace back to your family?
Oh, for sure. Normalized. Enabled. Accepted.
What led to your sobriety?
So, this is 40. I did it! I escaped my 2nd crap marriage, I’m now living at my highly functional normalized alcoholic father’s house who he shares with his wife, a woman he married when I was 2, who has been abusive to me throughout my entire life, but my daddy loves me! I’m drinking copious amounts of free booze daily with my pop & the neighborhood drunks, I only have to work a few hours a week because, after all, I have no mortgage to pay at daddy’s (which gives me more time to drink) My sweet daughters (3 & 11) and I have cute & cozy bedrooms, our own bathroom and are surrounded by things we love. OH AND, I am dating!! A few men, a few VERY wrong men, (nothing a shit load of alcohol cannot make right!) Oh, yeah, I was platinum blonde, thin, tan, sexy & Alcohol Soaked! ONE HOT ENABLED MESS. I loved what I saw in the mirror!
So then why? Why would I cry if I stood looking into my own eyes too long? Why would I soak my pillow with tears more nights than not? Why when out jogging would I literally cry out for God’s help?? But for what specifically? I did not know. All I could ever get out was a repeated plea, “HELP ME GOD HELP ME.
Little did I know. THIS. WAS. MY. Proverbial Rock Bottom.
What would you say is the biggest eye-opener for you today versus when you were not sober?
THAT morning. February 19, 2019. I woke, God spoke Megan, I know the desires of your heart and those ARE the plans I have for YOU.
That morning I looked in the mirror and for the 1st time, I saw ME FREE ME. I saw me through God’s Perfect EYES. I saw “me” through my daughters’ scared & confused eyes, I saw “me” through my mother’s constantly worried eyes. I FELT pain & I saw HOPE.
How long now have you been sober?
Today is day 516
What does your support system look like? Are you surrounded by people that encourage your recovery? Did you lose friends?
Love this question! After about a year of no steppy footy in a churchy! (Because that was just way too confusing) I went! A new church! I love it! My daughters love it! Clover Hill Church. I also casually started attending Celebrate Recovery @ Southside Church on random Friday nights- there is just something about recovery worshiping & those cute colorful chips!
And at no surprise, just as He said He would, God immediately began fulfilling my heart’s truest desires…
He gave my daughters a mommy whose glass they could drink from at any time, a mommy who could drive anywhere at any time. A mommy with “a memory”, no headache, and no slur. A mommy they could trust to protect them all the time. To show them how to live rather than just how to survive. He gave them the kind of Mommy I want them to be when they are grown. He gave them a sober mommy! My, now, almost 13-year-old, is one of my biggest supporters and fans!
Next, God would introduce me to my Soulmate. Jerry Taylor! And you will never believe where?! AT CHURCH! It is as if God made Him just for me. My 1st, only, and last sober relationship. He has taught me so much and continues to do so. He is my rock. He is my hero. He is the love of a lifetime. His love is unconditional. He is a God-fearing leader & daddy to our daughters. We will love him until we die.
God taught me to forgive my stepmother and how to stop her from future abuse. All the while paving a path for my pop and me to develop a new relationship of our own outside of alcohol…. this will be a slow yet fruitful process for us both.
What would you tell your younger self?
Slow down. Some of this you are doing is going to haunt you for years to come. Love yourself.
What are your future hopes?
To fulfill God’s purpose for ME. To raise daughters who have zero interest in altering their minds with drugs and alcohol. To Love & Be Loved!
What advice would you give those that are facing recovery or challenges with recovery?
You are holding yourself back from receiving the greatest life has to offer. The struggle is real. But YOU, my brothers & sisters, ARE REAL CAPABLE of anything… once you take that 1st step…. it just keeps getting better!
Keep “quit thinking” and YOU WILL. You will continue down the hard road of struggle, sorrow, doubt & questioning. One day soon you will wake to begin “sober thinking” – owning your choice & making better subsequent choices and sober, YOU WILL remain. “Free thinking” – you have made it!
LIFE as you have never known it will be revealed to you, abundant LIFE!
The chains WILL break, YOU WILL be set FREE & here you will have eternal life.
You are struggling now. Why not struggle towards freedom. You are worth it!
Over 500 days Sober and Going Strong
(Press Play – So Will I (100 Billion X) – Hillsong Worship)
Thank you Meg for sharing YOUR story of sobriety and a glimpse into your life with us! I am proud of you.
You are a true inspiration. You exude grace, beauty, and love.
I know our followers and subscribers look forward to hearing more about you!
(One of Meg’s Favorite Quotes)