There are so many languages from near and far, culturally driven, passed down from generation to generation, taught in schools and across the world.
"Love Languages!" These are the language by which you give and receive love. We all have them. We all have preferences of how we want to be loved. We all have "habits" of how we love.
I find it tough sometimes to even express my needs so it has become easier to discuss love languages and I would like to share this with you.
Are you familiar with Love Languages?
It wasn't until 2013. I was dating this guy and he looked at me and said "I can't figure you out". I was puzzled. I asked "what do you mean?". He went on to explain, my love language was confusing to him, apparently because I didn't require gifts or ask for anything and blew with the breeze, there was something wrong with that. I'm sure confusion was written all over my face. In all honesty, I am just me. I don't try to be anyone different. Generally speaking, I am an open book. I don't require much. I love affection, kindness and in return I love to give the same. I do however, give gifts much better than I receive them. I am also very much a person that pleases others given the chance. Rarely putting myself or needs first, that is just who I am.
I was a manager for many years, I knew t learning styles, teaching styles, management styles, employee relationships, comprehension types and so on, but love languages. I had to really research this.
I headed straight to the book store that very evening, alone, I embarked on my journey to learn about these love languages. Deep diving into the definitions. There are 5 main love languages widely used to be exact.
- Words of affirmation - examples - You look beautiful this evening or you are hilarious and always seem to make me laugh, I enjoy your company so much.
- Acts of Service - examples - cooking for your partner, cleaning the house, running out to the grocery store when you know they need something and you don't want them to hassle with it because they are tired. Anything that makes your partners life easier and happier.
- Gifting - examples - picking up flowers when it's not a special occasion, having a nice dinner or night on the town for absolutely no reason. Buying your partner that new device they have been eyeballing.
- Quality Time - examples - Dedicating undivided time and attention to your partner, focusing on just them. Excluding cell phones, television and distractions. One on one talks, intimacy. Looking them in the eyes when having a conversation, being present and involved.
- Physical Touch - examples - Holding hands, kissing, hugging, snuggling, the need for physical contact and PDA.
Once I read through these, I pondered on taking "the test", I had nothing to lose, what the heck! There are many on the internet. So here is where I stand, exactly in this order:
What I Need What I Give
|9 - Quality Time||8 - Quality Time|
|8 - Physical Touch||8 - Physical Touch|
|6 - Acts of Service||7 - Acts of Service|
|5 - Words of Affirmation||4 - Giving Gifts|
|2 - Receiving Gifts||3 - Words of Affirmation|
The outcome didn't surprise me then, nor does it now
I love quality time, I often feel needy or wanty (a word I made up). Words of affirmation are nice, this comes from insecurity I do believe. I unquestionably love physical touch with my partner, affection is a bond, two bodies together feeling heartbeats, that is special to me. There is some sense of safety in that and intimacy, I have not had that very much, I long for that. I love making my partner or loved ones feel special by doing acts of service, I even do acts of service for strangers. I am not materialistic individual, therefore, I am not surprised at all by this, I am the gift giver, receiving gifts was last on my list. I would love for someone to gift me a meaningful, thoughtful, special item, it just hasn't happened yet.
After learning about these love languages, what is your viewpoint?
Are you going to take the test?
Do you have an inkling as to what the results are?
Did I peak your interest?
Consequentially, you can learn a great deal about yourself and your partner. This encourages open communication and the opportunity to build a cohesive relationship on a solid foundation. We always have to compromise in life and relationships, why not start by taking the tests, comparing results, discussing the outcomes, your feelings, and making healthy changes together to suite your needs and your partners need where necessary. Singles, you could be a step ahead of the game!
♥ Now get to it, have some fun, get to know yourself a little more ♥
Oh, as for that guy I was dating in 2013-2014, that lasted all of 3 months and it was evident we did not speak the same love language. No hard feelings. I learned an abundance of knowledge, lessons, and truths during that time.
I gained the understanding of my love language!
Please share and thanks for reading.. stay tuned for more blogs...
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